Madam Secretary

Update: I leave for Rwanda in 78 days!!! So. Much. Excitement.

I met General Colin Powell on Tuesday. That was an awesome experience. He is now the second former Secretary of State that I have met. This time last year I had the amazing privilege to meet Condoleezza Rice, which was an incredible experience as well. It was interesting, because the encounters I have had with the two different former top diplomats of the free world have been nearly parallel in many respects. I was able to attend their small student meetings and the large community lecture, and also got to ask them the same exact question.

And what question was that you may ask? Well, what question would you pose to the person who has achieved your most sought after and desired career goal? Something to think about right? But for me it was an easy choice. I simply asked, "There are many students here today going down career paths that come with very specific steps and instructions to get to where they are going like aspiring doctors for example, but that is not true for those of us who are seeking a career in foreign diplomacy. So what would be your advice to a student who wants to go down this less detailed path?"

Yes, I asked two former Secretaries of State for career advice. What of it? I can be rather self serving at times, and that question is what I long to have an answer to. And in Powell's case that meant not a question about his opinions on Libya, why he jumped ship and voted for Obama, or if he would do anything in his career differently. Nope, I wanted straight forward self serving career advice. And you know what? That's what I got both times with both people, so that is a W in my book. Two W's to be exact.

Now for the next question floating around in your noggins: What was the answer? Welp, both Dr. Rice and General Powell gave very similar answers: Study Abroad, get good internships, work on your language skills, apply for the Foreign Service, etc. This was fairly new advice when it was given to me by Dr. Rice, but an obvious repeat when General Powell told me the same thing. This, however, did not disgruntle me in the slightest. In fact, it made my day. Why? Because a year ago when Dr. Rice was giving me this advice, I hadn't done a single thing on the list. But this time around, I have done all of it. I studied abroad, I have had several good internships including one with the UK Parliament, I have greatly improved in my French skills, and I have applied to the Foreign Service with the FSO test scheduled this summer!

It was the best pick-me-up I've gotten all semester. I, Rachel DeFoe, am clearly on the best path to working in foreign diplomacy according to two of the most accomplished people in the field. Can I get a "Hell Yeah" from the crowd please? HELL YEAH! And going to Rwanda gets me even further down this path. How exciting is that? It's times like these that all the voices in my head that question where I'll be in the future shut up and let me just bask in the sunlight. It's a truly great feeling. Maybe you all should start referring to me as Madam Secretary now just so you get used to it! haha! Secretary DeFoe... hmm... I could get real used to that...

J'aime la mauvaise télévision!

I have a sick obsession with bad television. It does me a world of good believe it or not. No thought has to go into watching this kind of TV, and it gives me some

of the best relaxing time I've ever had. Seriously. 

My brain might not have a real off switch, but it

vacates the building when an episode of Holly's World gets switched on, and that's good enough pour moi! 

I also have a real obsession with Sex in the City too nowadays. E! now plays it all the time. Like really, ALL the time. And you will hear zero complaints from me. I, like so many 30 and 40 somethings out there in the female population, loooove it. The show makes me want to drink Cosmopolitans, nickname every guy I've ever been with, and have a life full of epic girls nights. A viable option to living a real life, no? Don't crush my dream haters. 

My problem with living the Sex in the City life is choosing my character. I am always inclined to take the leading lady role. But, let's get real. Do you see me marrying a man with the nickname Mr. Big or wearing most of what Carrie Bradshaw gets caught in? I'd say not. But then again, I most likely wouldn't be a knocked up lawyer, an artist who converted to Judaism, or a sex addicted wealthy publicist either. The latter doesn't sound too shabby though, minus the cancer of course. Hmm, somethin' to ponder.

Oh the petty vices a girl holds dear... 

I do also love a good murder mystery. Like Criminal Minds. Not only does watching this incredible show make me confident that I, myself, could profile serial killers with the skills I have honed while watching, but it has also made me unbelievably scared of any kind of situation that could lead to my death. AKA: leaving my GPS in my car when a valet parks it, leaving a window open at night ( could lead to a home invasion which is definitely the most horrifying of all scenarios), having a bright red sports car....well, you get the idea. I do, however, have a beef with this show because it has recently been changing up characters, and this does not please me. I like the cast the way it is. None of those actors need any other ambitions or goals in life other than to be in my favorite show so stay the F there!

.....Sorry..... I get a little carried away sometimes... ha!

It was apparently obvious to me that everyone was in dire need to know my television habits. So there you go public! Enjoy! hahaha! 

Today, I'm an Idealist.

Song of the Day: Get It Right, Glee Edition

I want to be back in London, where my only problem was the exchange rate.

I'm not someone who typically feels bad for myself, but today I do and I'm trying to be ok with that. Have you ever wanted something to work out so bad you'll do anything for it? And before you know it, you're in over your head and don't know whether you're doing something for the right reasons or just because you think it's what you want? Where is the line between compromising and giving too much without enough in return? I'm a fighter. I will fight for something, even if I would be better off cutting my loses. I don't lose. I push through the hard stuff. Whether it be my friends, my significant other, my family, or any one else I want them to put just as much in as I do. It's how it works. Life isn't fair, but that doesn't mean it shouldn't be.

People with dreams should have the resources to achieve them. Being yourself should always get you more than acting like you're someone else. And love should always be enough. Always. But these things don't always happen. Actually, they usually don't and I'm not ok with that. It flat out sucks. I want to just scream and cry about this injustice today.

Am I naive? Yes. Am I unwilling to accept that this is just the way life is? Yes. I want more. People deserve more. Today, I'm going to be an idealist instead of my realistic self. A utopian world is impossible, but does that mean we should just settle? No. We should get it as close as possible. It's not easy. But if life isn't meant to be fair then it sure as hell isn't meant to be easy. I'd rather accept the latter wouldn't you?

So here is to the dreamers who are broke and beaten down. Here's to those who are themselves when people would like them better for being someone else. And here's to those fighting for relationships that other people say won't work because love isn't enough. I salute you all for going against the grain. And today, I'm right there with you.

Life Plans

Have you ever heard the saying, "If you want to tell God a joke, tell Him your plans?" Well I make Him laugh EVERYDAY apparently. Haha! I have this terrible habit of planning. And by planning, I mean planning every singe aspect of my life. By the age of 6, I had my life planned up through early adulthood. As a 6 year old. I mean seriously, didn't I have better ways to spend my daydreaming sessions as a little tike? Well, I guess not...

 Side note: at age 6, I was going to be a top ranking marine biologist studying dolphin interaction and communication. Then I figured out around the age of 11 I had a terrible irrational fear of sharks, hated sea food, and had an easily triggered gag reflex that could be set off by a gross smell and obviously the sight of gnarly sciency stuff. BUT by the ripe age of 12, I had a new life path that I'm still riding strong today :P

...And yes, my 12 year old life plan did even include the college I am attending today! I was pretty much a genius by that age. Obviously...

To those of you who even kind of know me, this comes as no surprise to you. I have a spreadsheet on my computer with several columns broken down into several sections detailing and comparing all the particular career/grad school combinations I have been considering. It's kind of sad really. But 'tis the the way I, are as a crazy rapper would put it.

So is this a waste of time? To plan our lives? Or to even have fairly specific goals that would crush you to not reach? I obviously think it's a respectable past time. Yes, I do have very thought out plans and life goals, but I'm always up for a little spontaneity. Take Rwanda for example. I caught wind of the opportunity, that day I applied, the next week I interviewed, and two days later I was planning a Rwandan Summer Adventure. In the specific life plan? Well no. But I was game. DUH.

I guess the trick is to be flexible? That's my hypothesis anyway. Sure. Plan up a storm! But, don't hesitate to mix things up a bit and get off your self-beaten plan on occasion. Do I make God laugh on a daily basis? Well yeah. Most likely. But let's be honest, I'm also just really funny to begin with... haha!

Fear.

What are you afraid of? Or are you not "afraid" of anything?

As a rule, I am not a fearful person by any means. I like to believe I am actually rather courageous about most things. The last couple of days, however, have put me back in my place. We, as people, are not fearless and unafraid all of the time. It is naive and pompous to think otherwise. When it comes down to it, we are all afraid of at least something. We may not hide under our blankets when we hear the house creak at night; we may not cower in the corner during a scary movie; we may not even jump and scream when someone pops around the corner to scare us. But, this doesn't really prove anything. We all have fear even if we don't outwardly show it. No matter how deep dark and secret our fears are, they are still present. 

This goes for me as well. Even though I hate to admit it. I sat in the hospital for the last couple days scared out of my mind. It was the most humbling experience I've had in a long time. I have mentioned previously that I have an insane fear of sharks, but the fear I've felt in the last couple of days blows my shark phobia out of the water. I would rather spend an entire week in a shark tank than ever deal with the tests and possibilities I've endured these last few days.

I have come to a conclusion, though, and it is that I am not afraid of death. I do not fear the end at all. I fear an incomplete life. That, and needles. I really hate needles. Completely irrational, yes I know. But, as hard as I try to not be totally horrified by them I am. I pass out and silently cry when I'm around them. So this week has been a living hell. No sharks involved, but the prospects of not living a complete life and being a human pincushion has been out right wretched. Not the way I would have liked to spend my spring break, but what can ya do? All I can do is pray we figure out what is going on with me, and that it comes at no more expense to my ego haha!

Fear isn't something I think about often, but it seems that it has been on my mind this week. Something interesting to ponder about, no?

War of the Worlds?

I would like to begin with the fact that I have officially seen every episode of Criminal Minds that has been aired to date. Yes, please pause for a brief moment of applause. 

............................................................

Thank you. Moving on. Now, it is Spring Break. Thank the LORD. I am at the home front for around a week. Not too shabby if I do say so myself....which, I obviously do. This break will be spent relaxing and scheming up plans to raise money for Rwanda. I accept cash, credit, debit, and checks paid to the order of Rachel "Broke as Hell" DeFoe. Please and thank you. 

Recent Revelations: Trying to blend different worlds is always much more difficult than would be preferred. Take high school and college friends for example. Putting those two parts of your life is much trickier than one probably thinks. A common fallacy?

"I'm friends with both groups, so why wouldn't they all get along with each other with limited awkwardness?"

Sadly, this is much easier said than done. Not only is there most likely going to be above normal levels of awkwardness, but nights out that start with the best of intentions more often than not end in utter failure.

Why is this? Well, it is something I have given a lot of thought to and have slowly but surely come to a few conclusions. First, even the nicest and friendliest of friends are capable of certain amounts of possessiveness when it comes to their own friendships. This causes obvious problems. When one's college friends and high school friends come together it becomes almost a competition. Each group feels like they must illustrate their dominance and importance in the one's life that overshadows the other group's. The high school and childhood friends believe to be the most important because they have been there longer. The college friends, on the other hand, can claim to be the friends chosen in adulthood and not out of adolescent convenience and proximity. Both are valid arguments, but neither one is the clear victor. They just create irreconcilable rifts between the two groups, and cause a lot of frustration and hurt feelings to all those involved. 

Second, the friend who is trying to combine their two friend worlds always has high expectations that will most likely be hard if not impossible to meet. This puts a lot of pressure on the planned meeting, and sets it up for failure. Naively thinking that a night out with both friend groups is going to be full of rainbows and sunshine leads to heartbreak and fights. I am guilty of having such expectations. I have built up a friend from one friend group to the other friend group and then that friend let me down. Significantly, and thus a huge rift was created. Had I not had such high expectations, the meeting probably would have gone fine. But alas, I set it up for failure. Yay for teaching others through my mistakes!

Thirdly, a peaceful and fun melding of the two worlds is possible. Not the most likely outcome, but still very possible! So, don't avoid it just because you are afraid of failed attempts. While I have had less than amazing experiences with it, I have had a few success stories as well and those make it worth all the trouble :) 

Yeah.... this is what I think about at 2am. You're welcome world. You have been learned. 

Nighty night! 

My Bucket List

I made a bucket list. It will continue to be added to, but this is what i have so far :)

Rachel DeFoe's Bucket List

1.   Visit all 7 Continents

·      North America ✓

·      South America

·      Europe ✓

·      Asia

·      Australia

·      Antarctica

·      Africa (soooo soon!!!)

2.   Go to Las Vegas, Nevada

3.   See the 7 Natural Wonders of the World

·      Grand Canyon

·      The Great Barrier Reef

·      The Harbor at Rio de Janeiro

·      Mt. Everest

·      Northern Lights

·      Paricutin Volcano

·      Victoria Falls

4. See the 7 Modern Wonders of the World

·      Chichen Itza, Mexico- Mayan City

·      Christ Redeemer, Brazil- Large Statue

·      The Great Wall of China

·      Machu Picchu, Peru

·      Petra, Jordan- Ancient City

·      The Roman Colosseum, Italy

·      The Taj Mahal, India

5. See the Egyptian Pyramids of Giza

6. Visit the Middle East

7. Go Skydiving

8. Meet a sitting US President

9. See the Rain Forrest

10. Get Married

11. Have children

12. Become bilingual

13. Write and publish a book

14. Visit 100 Countries (ones I've been to so far)

·      UK

·      Ireland

·      Scotland

·      Belgium

·      France

·      Denmark

·      US

·      Mexico

15. Visit all 50 States (listed are ones I’ve been to)

·      Missouri

·      Kansas

·      Iowa

·      Oklahoma

·      California

·      Texas

·      Florida

·      Tennessee

·      Georgia

·      Arkansas

·      Ohio

·      Washington DC

·      Virginia

·      Kentucky

·      South Carolina

·      North Carolina

·      Illinois

·      Indiana

·      Montana

16. Go to New York City

·      See a show on Broadway

·      Visit Time Square

·      See Statue of Liberty

Bridesmaids!

·      Shop on 5th Avenue

·      Walk down Wall Street

·      See the Empire State Building

·      Visit Ellis Island

17. Be a bridesmaid in 10 weddings ✓✓✓

18. Buy jewelry at Tiffany and Co.

19. Go on a long road trip with friends

20. Go white water rafting

21. Work for the State Department

22. Save a life

23. Put my feet in every ocean

·      Atlantic ✓

·      Pacific ✓

·      Indian

·      Arctic

·      Southern

24. Get a Ph. D

25. Become thin

26. Run a Half Marathon

27. Get laser hair removal on entire body

28. Climb/Hike a mountain

29. Buy a speed boat

30. Go skiing/snowboarding

Harry Potter World

31. Try to surf

32. Go to Harry Potter World

33. Graduate College

34. Face a phobia and touch a shark (SUCK IT STEVE)

35. Grow old

36. Go to a Super Bowl

37. Go to an Olympics

38. Learn to Salsa properly

39. Ride in a hot air balloon

40. Become a certified Scuba Diver

41. Travel around Italy

·      Florence

·      Rome

·      Venice

Santorini

·      Leaning Tower of Pisa

·      The Amalfi Coast

42. Visit Easter Island

43. Go to Greece and the Greek Isles

44. Go to Amsterdam

45. See Mount Rushmore

46. Visit Seattle

47. Visit Portland

48. See the Golden Gate Bridge

49. See Alcatraz

50. Go to Sea World

51. Learn to make pottery

52. Make stained glass windows

53. Cook through the Julia Child Cookbooks

54. Grow an amazing garden

55. Watch every movie that has won the Oscar for Best Picture

56. Be mentioned in the New York Times

57. Build a Habitat for Humanity Home

58. Live as Green of a life as possible

59. Own a Beach House

60. Become a world-renowned expert in my field

61. Retire with no debt

62. Become a millionaire

63. Adopt a child

64. Swim with dolphins

65. Go whale watching with mom

66. Take dad fly fishing in Scotland or New Zealand

67. See Zach perform at the most important show of his life

68. Go on a safari

Beauty and the Beast Library

69. Adopt a pet from an animal shelter

70. Have a house with a secret passageway

71. Paint a mural on a wall in my house

72. Have a huge library equipped with a ladder that spins around the walls (yes, like Beauty and the Beast)

73. Visit an Asian monastery

74. Have a grand staircase

75. Have a wrap around porch

76. Fill up a journal

77. Spend New Years Eve in Times Square

78. Have someone recognize me in a random place

79. Get Lasik

80. Learn to successfully drive a stick shift automobile

My Random Ponderings

I have had a lot of time to think lately. I do whatever I can to avoid my homework, and thinking upon an infinite number of subjects is one such way I procrastinate these days. When my mind begins to wander, I think more about questions than I do actual events or subjects. Yes, I question aspects of events and subjects, but do not actually think about them. 

What is it I spend my time asking myself? Well, I shall enlighten you.

• My most often thought about question:

       Am I going down the right life path to reach my full potential? Or am I missing opportunities I never even knew I had?


This question plagues my thoughts every waking moment. I even dream about it in the forms of extremely realistic nightmares. It's truly unnerving. And sadly, it is a question that will remain unanswered for many years to come.

• The most annoying of my ponderings:

       Did I reach the high point of my life last semester in London?


Tragic to think, right? Especially considering I'm still only 20. While this question, too, will go with out answering, I have convinced myself that the answer is no. London was the most amazing time of my life, but only so far. I have much left to see and experience in my hopefully long lifetime, so I need to stay positive when it comes to this issue. Glass half full and that sort of thing.

• My most heinous pondering:

       Could there be a bull shark in my lake? 


Yes, dear audience, I realize the utter insanity of this thought. BUT, I have a ridiculous phobia of sharks and of being devoured by one. So, in my mind, it is a completely rational thought. Deal.

• My pondering that my boyfriend finds the most aggravating:

       What is the worst thing that could possibly go wrong? OK, how do we fix that even though it isn't a problem and may never become one???


I'm an overanalyzer. It's a curse. If I could refrain from doing it, I most certainly would. I have found it to be easier said than done though. You know the saying "If it isn't broken, don't fix it"? Well, my mind has never been able to grasp that. Instead, my mind goes to, "It'll break eventually so how do we plan and prevent that from happening, or is it even worth working on?" So, being an overanalyzer is my cross to bear. But unfortunately for my boyfriend, it is now his to bear also... Sorry babe! <3

• My other random pondering:

       Should I stay in Texas for the summer or go back home?
       Can I be perpetually intoxicated all summer between my birthday and all the weddings?
       What do I do about furniture when I get an apartment?
       Can I finish a 3 pound cinnamon roll by myself? I think so.
       Why did Sonic get rid of their dollar menu?!
       Will Qadalfi just die already?




Welp, those are my thoughts for you to digest. If you somehow have the answers to any of them. Please let me know, because they are haunting me.

Life after London

So my life is ridiculously boring nowadays. 
However, I cannot complain much. I have an amazing life back here in Tex. But, I'm so over studying.... 

Last night out in Londontown

What I really miss is this: my brunch gals, an 18 year old drinking age, O'Neills, well and just all of London to be honest. It's beyond glorious. As this picture obviously illustrates. 






This is where I'm going this summer.... Be jealous. 

Kigali, Rwanda

This is my boyfriend, and I love him :)

River Walk Date :)

I have a real obsession with Vanilla Chai Tea, Becky's grilled cheese, Snightseeing, London, and bad television.